JOY. A beautiful concept. This week a client said to me she never felt Joy.
This led me to thinking, as I do….. Joy, like Self-love, like confidence, like happiness… and may other things is a CONCEPT.
So I challenged her statement – “Tell me one thing that has given you joy in the last month”. “Oooh that is hard” she said… but I didn’t give up, and asked the question again…”Yes, I rode my bike a few Sundays ago and the wind in my face made me feel joy”. OK, and give me one thing in the last week that has given you joy… “Cant do that”….. but I waited ….. after a few minutes of contemplation she said…”Yes, I had a wonderful dinner with girlfriends where we had meaningful conversation – that gave me joy”
So the “I don’t feel joy” statement was simply not true.
So many of us live with these stories in our heads… and really it is a case of unpacking the concept, understanding what ir REALLY looks like, and then challenging the story.
So when we unpacked what JOY looked like we got to jumping on trampoline, cycling, friends, dancing, watching a swallow skim a pool…. lots and lots of small things.
The issue now is to label those things as JOY. for example… I have just seen someone look at their partner with such love in their eyes…. that gives me joy. As one becomes aware of these small things, and lables them, so it becomes possible to change the narrative in our heads.
Now she KNOWS when she feels joy, and she is actively creating external events such as trampoline jumping that create her joy…. and that is how you change your life, and your story!